On a Loved One’s Passing and the Grief that Comes with It

From the desk of Gloria Mata

A pinch of salt
. . . A sprinkle of pepper
. . . And a dash of sugar

Passing, a euphemism, a more gentle way to say death, seems to be a very relevant and a common occurrence in this age of pandemic. Just recently on the same date former Philippine President Benigno Aquino lll and a friend Ely Bomediano from Chicago passed on. This, after I just heard of another friend, Jimmy Casacop’s. passing A few months ago, it was of my very own dear sister, Nora Engracia-Porte. My newsfeeds in the social media carried these sad announcements of people I knew and cared for at some point in my lifetime. To condole, sympathize or empathize with the bereaved is not easy as I had to deal with my own feeling of grief and uneasiness at the same time. It’s sad.

Is my grief a natural feeling or simply a refusal to accept the loss of someone dear or someone I know? I tried to come to terms with the uneasiness and sadness I felt whenever I heard that someone died. Grief accompanies or follows passing… it’s so real and there seems to be no expiration date. It lingers on and stays, sometimes, just like a passing moment or feeling, at other times so intense and overwhelming. I learned to say a little prayer, “Lord bless me with your peace. Let this moment pass.”

I realized that most of those who passed on were in my age group – some a little bit older or younger. I realized that as a septuagenarian I am close to my own passing. As I have heard before … “this age and time is our pre-departure area (as in the airport) to our passage or final destination”… and it’s so true – it is a reality. I have come to accept that reality and now feel comfortable with it. Realizing this, I resolved to make every moment of my life count. To enjoy every moment. To make the best of whatever is at hand. And to be grateful for the present. The present is a gift and what is, is meant to be. My life has not always been a bed of roses, so to speak, but it’s a life I would be happy to re-live. I have my share of joy and sorrow, of laughter and tears, of accomplishments and failures, of love and frustrations and an abundance of blessings along the way.

Passing and grief then are as sure and inevitable as day and night. How we handle them will surely make the difference. Let us welcome them with openness and calm, though uncertain as to the time and the hour. I know that we cannot really be ready for their coming so let us enjoy the blessing and privilege of living the present. I believe that as I am privileged and blessed to live this long … that ageing is God’s gift … how we live our life is our thanksgiving to God. Live and enjoy life with us here @ MegaScene.